The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. ", 51. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? You dont. Teach them to question everything. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Why? You don't. You have no choice. ""Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? Answer (1 of 16): He hated mostly all politicians. Broadly speaking. 41. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. They never mention that part to us, do they? Whats that, a bonus? It will not be with jack-boots. And generally speaking, people onthe right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. At all. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read. You ever notice that? And complaining about the politicians. ", 13. ", 61. A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! Even right-wingers are getting tired of their queerphobic schtick. You have owners. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. From Life Is Worth Losing. ", 116. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. They own everything. ", 40. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. ", 25. You have no right to complain. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. Everything He ever makes dies. And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. The sp_landing is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. 51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher ", 110. (LogOut/ - Arthur Baer. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. ", 4. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. "Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Who's winning the culture war? | caucus99percent "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. You don't. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. ""Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. ", 35. ", 20. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. ", 3. This cookie is used for email services. AshwaniGarg on Twitter: "RT @JamesMelville: "They own everything George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. "I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. "Some people see the glass half full. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. Then you're just what they're looking for. This cookie is set by the BlueConic. George Carlin "Forget the Politicians" and tells it like it is Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. "I have certain rules I live by. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. ", 7. Let's start with critical race theory. You work forty years until youre young enough to enjoy your retirement. ", 112. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. It does not store any personal data. Contents 1 Quotes 1.1 FM & AM (1972) They own everything," the quote reads. Because you have the illusion of choice. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Associated with Amazon Web Services and created by Elastic Load Balancing, AWSELB cookie is used to manage sticky sessions across production servers. ", 114. GEORGE CARLIN | They Don't Care About You - YouTube "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. A provocative new photo shoot has the trolls losing their minds alongside the likes of Noel Gallagher, Bob Geldof, and Azealia Banks. "I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. ", 27. '", 93. George Carlin - Government doesn't care about you - YouTube ", 7. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. -26 1amathrowaway 1 yr. ago After that, they dont want to know about you. RIP George Carlin. "I was a loner as a child. Forget the politicians. Trouble is, most of them suck. I'm f**kin' serious! God has a three-day weekend. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store the original referrer for the site visitor. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. [5] And another one: 5 Reasons Why Followers Continue To Support Certain Political Leaders "It's called the American dream . It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Carlin is funny as hell. "Everyone smiles in the same language. Who Does George Carlin Represent? | by Michael Thompson | Medium No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. '""The difference between left and right of centeroriginated in the Frenchparliament. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. What do you get at the end of it? You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. It even sparked a legal case with the U.S. Supreme Court! A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . ", 102. ", 9. Im tired of this shit. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. The quote continues: "They own all the important land. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. 'American Dream' documentary examines George Carlin's triumphs - NPR And I didn't really care in the first place. ", 64. ", 8. George Carlin Nailed Conservative Hypocrisy On Abortion More - HuffPost 5 Social Issues George Carlin Made Relevant - Medium However, Ice Cube has endorsed neither Trump nor his Democratic rival, former Vice President Joe Biden. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Thats against their interests. Try spelling Evian backward. Board Messages . They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. "It's never just a game when you're winning. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. "There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. ", 87. George Carlin. I mean, life is tough. Well what if I don't want to? "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. Why is modern comedy so bad compared to its golden age? Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ", 9. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. '", 78. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . Then youre just what theyre looking for. Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . ", 94. Thats the problem. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. Everybody complains about politicians. ", 6. "The planet is fine. Believe me, my friend. Then you live in an old age home. They own everything" "They've. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. The __gads cookie, set by Google, is stored under DoubleClick domain and tracks the number of times users see an advert, measures the success of the campaign and calculates its revenue. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They Own You' This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. ", 46. George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube George speaking the truth. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Thats right. (LogOut/ ", 17. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. ", 106. ""Deep Throat: Think about it. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. You have no choice. That's what the owners count on; the fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that's being jammed up their assholes everyday. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. ", 53. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. The Great George Carlin. They are irrelevant. ", 98. Yeah, the public sucks. After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. You don't say that about cats. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ", 37. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. 01. Nothing changed. Its you. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. "How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin's rant about who owns politicians is haunting Donald You know what they want? Just like homeless people. they don't wanna know about you. CMPS cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking based on user's website visits, for displaying targeted ads. ", 11. This data helps to customize website content to enhance user experience. "I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. George Carlin, I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. ", 68. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. ""Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. [] I look at war a little bit differently. They own everything. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. The truth is that George Carlin would be branded a left-wing nut job who has pie-in-the-sky ideas and wants people to collect money for doing nothing. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. ", 8. He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. Enjoy! On Election Day, I stay home. ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. George Carlin. ", 124. Issued by Microsoft's ASP.NET Application, this cookie stores session data during a user's website visit. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. Its called fucking with people! ", 2. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. That's generally been true. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. The domain of this cookie is owned by Nielsen. ", 18. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence? George Carlin, If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? He loves you, and He needs money! Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives - Mic ", 56. "People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. . Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? George Carlin - It's A BIG Club & You Ain't In It! - YouTube Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This information is used to pick out ads delivered by the platform and assess the ad performance and its attribute payment. Everybody's . It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. This cookie is set by the provider Akamai Bot Manager. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court. Toothpicks? "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. "If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead. ", 121. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. "'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. They should be giving their money to you. You think the schools are the way they are by accident? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. His entire bit is included in the nearly two-minute video perfectly conjoined with photos of Trump and the results of his administration flood the screen. - Doc Holliday. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. Quote by George Carlin: "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times When you leave them in the morning they stick their noses in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you return eight hours later. "Although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
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