Milton Hershey, Never mind about 1066 William the Conqueror, 1087 William the Second. There are only three things in life that matter good friends, good chocolate and, oh dear, what was that other one? If I have chocolate around, I will eat it. 81.12 % / 2071 votes. Are you Willy Wonka? Q: Whats the technical difference between cacao and cocoa? Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. It will not make you pregnant. Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. Nope, all outer space.. Because I want you to spread for my satisfaction tonight. Today, a guy put a gun to my head and demanded a coconut-filled chocolate bar. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? Whos there? Why did the M&M go to University? God is watching the apples. "People think I hate sex. Marquise de Svign, Chocolate is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent restorer of exhausted power. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. I wont lie, it was a Rocky Road.A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers Do you like it dark or milky? Diabetes.. Jake has diabetes Somehow Im just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.I dont like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. Whats the best part of Valentines Day? He turned into a box of chocolates. Its also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! Debbie and Dilly Dalton: In the early years, identical blonde twins Debbie and Dilly Dalton appeared. Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. Stress wouldnt be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered. Chocolate Chip Wookiee. What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common? Finally he announced crossly Young lady, youve been eating far too many sweet things, several of your teeth need filling., Oh goody! she replied happily. What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate? "I will grant you three wishes," says the genie. A Kitty Kat bar. Put the chocolate in the bag and nobody gets hurt. Food Puns. So black kids could get dirty faces too. the cashier said " sure" "hand me a chocolate bar" he ate it. How do you know its cold outside? Why not! A: The letters a and o are reversed. Nestle Crunk bar. Save the Earth! Get stuck in. Sandra Boynton, Chocolate: the Consuming Passion, Carob is a brown powder made from the pulverized fruit of a Mediterranean evergreen. Chocolate is natures way of making up for Mondays. as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Theres more to life than chocolate, but not right now. The electricians favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. You never know what youre gonna get. You wont ever need to bring me sweet food, I like you enough. Almond Joy To The World. It is well to abstain from chocolate in order to avoid the familiarity and company of a nation so suspected of sorcery [Spain]. One thats choco-lit! When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. 84. Why not get started now? Mr. Good, who? The man says, "And the Viagra?" Glazed and confused. I appreciate a balanced diet. Babe you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". It is the best friend of those engaged in literary pursuits. Currently you have JavaScript disabled. One snatches your watch. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you dont need an appointment. To get chocolate milk. Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? What do parrots say when they see a candy bar? Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. What does it do before it rains candy?It sprinkles!Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.One said Happy Easter! What did the other one say? If you cant eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. Ready for some chocolate jokes? Cao-cao! I am always ready for something sweet like you. What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Just ice cream. I am always ready for something sweet like you. Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. ao! - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. Why cant trans men enjoy chocolate? I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves. Why a carrot as a logo? Nitric oxide plays such an important role in the maintenance of healthy blood pressure and, in turn, cardiovascular health. You are lovelier than all the sweets in the world combined. Hahaha They're better at it than guys. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Every jokes so funny I am enjoying your jokes and best of luck for new jokes. A man found a magic lamp on the beach. I will grant you three wishes, says the genie.For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol. The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears.For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds. The genie snaps his fingers and a bag appears stuffed with the money.For my final wish, I would like to be so popular that everyone likes me. For the last time, the genie snaps his fingers and the man is turned into a box of chocolates.PETA is like a box of chocolates.They kill dogs.Someone told me there was caffeine in chocolate.If thats true, then why has my dog been asleep for so long, huh?Life is like a box of chocolates.The fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.My uncles joke he just came up with: What are chocolates preferred pronouns?Her, She.They recently found a mummy in Egypt covered in chocolate and nuts.They think it was pharaoh rocher.Why should you always melt chocolate over boiling water?Because if you try and melt it under boiling water, youll die.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is quite unrealistic but at least they got one thing rightThe moment Charlie found that ticket all the scalpers started coming out.I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. Knock knock! Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? A Ferrari Rocher! People can't help being thrown off when slang for testicles are suddenly part of the conversation! Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. No, the boy replied. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. You know youre a chocoholic if, when the leaves change in the fall, you start gathering Almond Joy candy bars for the coming winter. They dont last long for fat people. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Knock knock! Donut Jokes. In a hotel sweet.What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? 66 Frozen Yogurt and Ice Cream Pick Up Lines, 147 Deli Pick Up Lines (Meat Cold Cut, Cheese, Bread, Sandwich). When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. Are you chocolate spread? A Double Decker. There are four basic food groups: milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white chocolate, and chocolate truffles. Please add a link to this article. Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? The Greek term theobroma (Latin name for cacao) means literally food of the gods. You are the surprise I wanted to get more than I want chocolate. A chocolate shake. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? Knock Knock! Are you a box of chocolate? What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month? A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be. They had a baby, Ruth. The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate? But considering the pandemic that our world is currently facing, the most important thing is that laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving our resistance to disease. When people dessert you, eat ice cream! Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". . Do you like it dark or milky? The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); All evidence to date suggests its chocolate. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Because you're making me drool. How dairy.Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.What kind of bar is kid friendly? The police are trying to catch him, but hes always got a few Twix up his sleeve! Plane Chocolate! Are you chocolate spread? Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. I love a man with chocolate on his breath. What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate? It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. If you are interested in more jokes and puns, take a look at Cookie Puns and Baking Puns. Who doesnt love Hershey chocolate jokes? A chocolate bar. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. #2. What did you guys do? The jamaican mon said "check the guyanese pockets and yuh find all three a dem" Chocolate left in a car? Knock knock! Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! There are a few things we can always count on when were having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! "You mean J.C? And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, I think of that again and again! . Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Babe, I don't think there's anything hotter than chocolate, until I met you. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. I identify as a chocolate bar. Deborah Fox-Rothschild. Its summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if youre feeling the heat. I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. One large, ongoing study of the benefits of exercise found that men who eat chocolate in moderation live longer than those who eat none. Babe can I get a cookie that tastes like you? Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair.". An old man and a young man worked in office next to each other. Ah! Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! And I don't love chocolate. Consequently, these chocolate jokes can also make your frown turn upside down! What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack? . It's so cold my shadow froze on the sidewalk. Use these chocolate related pick up lines about different types of chocolate like candy bars, donuts, cake, drinks, and more. I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. You make everything taste better just like cocoa. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This is a text widget, which allows you to add text or HTML to your sidebar. What the cold weather does to cold people! I am a serious chocoholic. Chocolate is not a matter of life and death its more important than that! Chocolate-covered aunts.What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? A little too much chocolate is just about right. I asked him where he got that from.He said, I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.Theyve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nutsThe mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.I identify as a chocolate barMy pronouns are her/she.What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?Lindt Chocolate.A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in EgyptArchaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche.